Reading the verse captioned, have you ever thought, “why does nothing ever work out for me?”

Maybe the answer is right here; maybe I’m wicked!

I know, I know! That sounds harsh…but what if it’s true?

As I read this verse this morning, I thought about how hard it is to truly evaluate ourselves. So often we want to dismiss ourselves when we read the word “wicked” because, well, it’s evil!! And I’m not evil, right?

Well, if we think of “evil” as demonic or we picture a witch and her caldron and we tell ourselves that’s the only compartment of evil, then you’re right; most of us wouldn’t fit in that category. But what if we “studied to show ourselves approved” and understood more of the meaning of the word wicked.

Wicked simply means twisted; like a wicker basket. If you have an area of life that isn’t working out, you probably have truth mixed with a lie that you are believing. But so many Christian’s don’t evaluate their lives. We focus on the truth part we believe and dismiss the possibility of being deceived, causing it to be a twisted truth aka “wicked.”

Many of us walk around deceived, think about Eve. The enemy wasn’t lying to her when he said “you will be like God and see everything, good and evil” but God only wanted humanity to see good but because Eve felt like she was missing something, she was deceived into eating the fruit of the tree that God had already said was forbidden. And the word says “her eyes were opened” opened to what? Opened to wickedness and now what was pure and holy she tried to hide.

Oh, our humanity is so flawed! How often do we do exactly what Eve did? We can know that God gave us a direction for our lives, but because we want a certain outcome or timing, we manipulate things, usually subconsciously, but we eat the fruit . And that is wicked! We mixed the truth with a lie.

But we rarely will do as the word says to do; “work out our own salvation with fear and trembling…”

An example for me personally would be the world telling me I was ADHD; through teachers (who are educated to co-sign this lie), doctors, tv commercials, friends, etc … I was flat out being infiltrated with this lie and I believed it!

I knew the Bible said that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” & “I have a plan and a purpose for you and it’s not to harm you but to give you hope and a future” but I chose to apply the lie to my life and not the Bible!

Come on somebody!!!

From depression to ADHD, to “once an addict always an addict” I believed so many lies and they were mixed with just enough truth, that I didn’t evaluate myself for 38 years and the enemy almost killed me through a drug addiction.

I fell into the worlds “evil agenda” without even knowing it.

The truth about me is; I can pay attention well for a short period of time! lol. (I hope you found the humor in that!).

Sure, I could choose to get frustrated because I get antsy 20 minutes into anything, and constantly have to tell myself to pay attention to what is in front of me …

But if you could see the purpose and plan that God has laid out for me in my life; if you could that my ministerial calling, to administrate an amazing ministry with my husband, was actually birthed from the ability to bounce from area to area of the ministry.

It blows my mind, how what the world tried to medicate (ADHD), is the exact thing that actually propels my ministerial calling in life.

You see, in the calling of God for my life, He fearfully and wonderfully made my mind to bounce from this area to that area and this spreadsheet to that spreadsheet and this phone call to that phone call and mix them all up with the call of discipleship.

You see I really believe now that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It isn’t a flaw, it’s an asset!!

I have an opportunity daily to vividly see that “His grace is sufficient for me and in my weakness HIS strength is revealed!”

See I spent years, “mingling with the enemies” as psalms 106 says; it wasn’t a person or the devil with a pitchfork, it was my mindset that I “mingled with.”

For most of us, it’s worldly “wicked” mindsets, maybe it’s victim mentality, pride, fear of man, religion, doubt, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, ADHD (I could go on and on but I think you get it) but back to our first verse; “nothing is working out” why? because I am “sitting with the wicked” thoughts.

Can you imagine a culture that actually embraced the possibility of being wicked instead of dismissing it? Instead of finding people and businesses to co-sign our sin, can you imagine a place that we sat for a moment and thought about what the Bible was saying and actually applied it to our own mindsets?

But the enemy has blinded many from seeing that humanity is wicked (twisted) in nature. We need to open our eyes and see the truth so we can become the spotless bride.
Prayer that I prayed and you can too. “Lord, help me to evaluate my life and see where things aren’t “working out.” Lord give me insight and wisdom to look into those “twisted up” thought processes, help me to separate the truth from the lie and let my thoughts only be entwined with you and what you say is true. You are so faithful God!”